I just finished reading Sacred Parenting
by Gary Thomas. (There are guides, DVDs,
devotionals, etc. This is the original book—just make sure you get the right
thing when you order.) I was led to this
book by Lisa-Jo Baker’s summer reading list,
and it took me a while to get through it, though that says far more about me than the
book. I enjoyed this book and profited
from it on many levels and in many applications. I highly recommend it to any friend who is
actively parenting a child.
Before you get past chapter one, you realize this is not a
parenting book. It’s not written to
teach you how to parent your children.
Instead, it focuses on what God is doing in your life, how he is using
the lives entrusted to you to teach you things about Himself. “The message of this book . . . insists that the process of parenting is one of the most spiritually formative
journeys a man and a woman can ever undertake. . . . Spiritually speaking, we
need to raise children every bit as much as they need us to raise them” (p15).
While focusing on what we need to learn, the author clearly
points to God as the ultimate reason for parenting. He asks a staggeringly simple question: “Why
have children?” There are so many wrong answers to this question!
The book further goes on to explore the areas where our
children chisel at our personhood. For
example, guilt. Guilt equals bad,
right? And then we feel guilty about
feeling guilty! Chapter 3 explains three
reasons why guilt can, in fact, be a good thing. And how about learning to let our children
suffer? “Our natural (but not necessarily holy) inclination to make life as
easy as possible for our children, coupled with our focus on what we really
want them to achieve, ultimately tells us parents what we value most about life”
(p. 29).
Chapter 6 challenged my perspective about the Israelite nation
who complained and were sentenced to 40 years of wandering and death. I’ve always seen that story through the eyes
of the suffering, thirsty adults. I’ve
never looked at it through the eyes of thirsty adults who are watching their
children suffer, in danger of their life.
How much easier it is to go through something painful yourself than to
watch your child go through it! Yet this chapter lays open our fears and
vulnerability and points us to God’s Word.
In fact, because they acted on their fears they actually suffered more. “While Scripture honestly admits the real
threats we face in life, it remains equally forceful about not being driven by
fear of them” (p. 95).
Other chapters include joy, sacrifice, listening to God,
anger; and they have such interesting titles and subtitles as “How raising
children teaches us to look beyond glamour and into glory” and “A very boring
chapter in the Bible (that can change your life forever)” and “Walking on the
wild side of parenting.”
This book is not a “fun” read as some more narrative books
are. It’s not a “feel-good” book to
boost your spirit. It makes you
think. This book asks hard questions, uses
insightful quotations and source material, deals with serious and real issues, and
addresses them all in light of God’s Word.
That being said, it’s also very accessible. It rings true and it isn’t overly technical. Also, the chapters stand on their own quite
well, so if you don’t have time to read the whole thing, you can read just part
of the book and still benefit. I will
definitely be re-reading this book!
