"There's a Person in There!"

From this . . . :

 . . . to this:

When I collected my son from the nursery at the church we were visiting on Sunday, the nursery worker praised his obedience.  Knowing as I do, that a boy who has just turned two is no proven workmanship of parenting, it was still gratifying to hear that he had done well that morning.  Her explanation, that even with very young children you can tell what standards are being set in the home, made me think about the reputation a child has.  “Even a child is known by his doing.”  This is certainly true for elementary-aged children, but it seems to be true even at a much younger age range.  And I know this from the times I spent as a babysitter in high school.  Some families were fun to sit for; others required grit, determination, and a lot of cash.

A good friend and mentor from our church in Pennsylvania likes to tell the following story.  Her oldest child Timothy was having his first birthday party when someone remarked that in six months or so they would have to start spanking him.  A kind friend of hers told her sincerely that if they waited six months to start teaching him to obey, it would be six months too late.

My husband and I joke about the transformation that occurs to make a baby into a “real person.”  We mean, of course, the child becomes someone with cognition and the ability to act in his or her own will.  As the mother of very young children, I am amazed at how early that self-will begins to exert itself.  These expressions of “personhood” are both a joy and concern.  We would never want our children to stay infants (as precious as they are), but the visibility of the sin nature causes us to mourn.  On the other hand, the discoveries of toddlerhood delight us.

Once the babies are choosing to obey or not, the real work of parenting begins.  Though reputation is not the goal in and of itself, it is one of the fruits by which we know the plants are being tended.  And even tender seedlings need gardening!

However, if we start when they are young, we will be amply rewarded for the effort.  This week I revisited one of my favorites, Pride and Prejudice.  Says Mr. Darcy’s housekeeper, who has known him since he was four years old: “But I have always observed that they who are good-natured when children are good-natured when they grow up; and he was always the sweetest-tempered, most generous-hearted, boy in the world.''

Of his own upbringing, Mr Darcy shares further insight: “I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit.”

For good or bad, what we do with our children in their very early years really does make a difference.  Not that mistakes cannot be overcome or corrected, but it is so much easier to do it right the first time. 

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”